Here are a few tips for enjoying better sex in midlife:
- Lubricate: After menopause, it’s common to experience discomfort during sex due to vaginal dryness. Lubricants can help moisten the vagina during sex. If that doesn’t work a vaginal moisturizer may be in order. My go-to vaginal moisturisers are coconut oil and Yes OB. Avoid douching, as it can also cause vaginal dryness. Speak to a doctor about low-dose vaginal estrogen if moisturizers and lubricants are ineffective.
- Relax: It’s important to make time for foreplay. Foreplay can help reduce pain during intercourse that’s caused by vaginal dryness. Different sex positions may be helpful too. Taking a bath or shower in warm water may also help you relax.
- Health and medicines: Very often, a low sex drive is caused by medications or a health condition. Reviewing medications and making adjustments can be helpful for some people. Make sure to manage any health conditions, get an adequate amount of sleep, exercise and consume alcohol in moderation.
- Talk to your partner: The principles that hold true for effective communication in a partnership, also hold true for talking about sex. Your partner may be making assumptions on what you’re feeling and communication is the key to building the intimacy you might have lost.
- Get creative: A little creativity may be necessary for better sex in midlife. Different positions to make vaginal intercourse more comfortable or alternatives to sexual intercourse like massage and sex toys are definitely options to consider.
- Hormone replacement: Low oestrogen levels have a direct impact on our libido, and replacement can restore your sex drive.In some women replacing testosterone, also a female hormone, is the missing piece of the puzzle which can restore sex drive, energy levels and concentration. Speak to a menopause doctor about your hormone levels.